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January 14, 2021 A moment to vent? This week, a guy was standing outside the entrance of a coffee shop where I sometimes go, and he grabbed the sleeve of my jacket as I was leaving. He wanted money for holding the door open. I was caught off guard and way too polite in my reaction (“Please! DO NOT touch me!”), especially considering two men had exited before me, and neither one of them got manhandled. Excuse me, but SCREW POLITENESS in those moments. I walked away—because I was late, and in that case, it wasn’t worth my time. In that case. Yes. There have been cases. Too many, and too often, as just about any woman can attest to. So…fast forward to that evening when I’m meeting a male friend for wine and cold french fries. I told him what had happened. Blank stare. “So…he grabbed your arm or your jacket?” Pause. “He grabbed my jacket.” “But he let go?” Pause. “I pulled my arm away, so yes.” Now a puzzled look. “But he didn’t hold onto your arm or hurt you?” Longer pause, my jaw’s clenching, I think my teeth are grinding. I take three very big sips of wine and a deep breath. “No. That’s not the point.” That moment infuriated me more than the moment outside the cafe. I know men may never fully understand that feeling of being violated, whether it’s bodily, or even their personal space, until it happens to them. But it shouldn’t require a shared experience to understand that grabbing a woman—grabbing ANYONE—whether it’s her pussy, or her arm, or a piece of her clothing, is wrong. It still happens, too much and too often, and tolerating it is as equivocal as doing it, in my mind. It shouldn’t take having a sister or a daughter or a girlfriend to understand that, either. Anyways, screw politeness.
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