Feeding Tubes, Hair Extensions And Other Stops On The Bridal Path To Self-Improvement

There comes a point when your conversations inevitably shift from dating and sex, to engagements and weddings. And eventually everything that tends to follow. But first, you spend a lot of time talking about weddings. And everything that goes on before a wedding. I'd say I'm there now. It's that time of the year when the best weather is about to unfold (perfect for hitching ceremonies outdoors), I'm of that age when most of my friends are either shopping for bridal dresses or wedding gifts—and this weekend in particular, it was impossible to pass a newsstand without seeing the press and tabloids champion the Duke and Dutchess of Cambridge (aka Will & Kate) on their first anniversary and having "made it" happily ever after. One year in! Hip, hip!

Undoubtedly a lot of preparations and planning go into weddings, not least of which are the "preparations" a bride-to-be often undergoes to physically appear the same size she normally does in a gown that doubles her volume.

Dieting and exercise are typically part of the regimen, and then there are the occasional extremes like severely restricted caloric intake, dispensed via feeding tubes (for anyone who thought juice fasts were for wimps).

But why drop all those pounds at the risk of potentially looking unfamiliar? An upcoming wedding should be the impetus to motivate a bride or groom—or bridesmaid or groomsman, for that matter—to adopt ongoing habits to nurture a healthier lifestyle, right? What's the point if you're going to gain it all back? No one wants to walk down the aisle with excess poundage they should have, would have, could have lost, but isn't it just as disappointing to see an unrecognizably slender figure standing next to your spouse in those old wedding photos?

This might be an extreme opinion in its own form, but couldn't that rationale be extended to other lengths brides go to before their weddings—even growing their hair longer than they ever would normally keep it, or getting extensions? On a day that's meant to celebrate a couple's true love and devotion to spending the rest of their lives together, there seems to be a lot of fabrication with all that affectation and makeup. What many might realize after the big day is that the outward transformations weren't so necessary after all. On your wedding day, you glow. Naturally.*

*(My father and I spent months trying to figure out what was different about my sister in her wedding photos, specifically her teeth. The conclusion: she was smiling all day long.)

As the stories go.

"Silent World," aka Perfect Sunday